I'll Kill You Later
by Mom Stalks You
Summary: When Shizuo wakes up with a serious hangover, he discovers that he somehow has turned into a woman! That, and a few more unsettling surprises. And it's all Izaya's fault. Rated M because Shizuo's beyond pissed and a horny Izaya later on. No like yaoi no read!
1. Chapter 1

**Hiiiiiiiii!~~ This is my first fanfic so my sincere apologies if it sucks. Even though there's gender bending, the sex scene has them as guys so do not fear, my yaoi fangirl brethren! X3**

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Shizuo's POV

The first thing I noticed was the fact that my head hurt like hell. I couldn't remember what had happened the night before was proof enough that I had really overdone it. _Damn I really need to lay off the drinks a bit._ Strangely not only did my head hurt, but my chest did too. I pushed back the sheets that blinded my view and looked around. I was in a hotel room. I knew that much.

I rolled onto my front so that I was right next to the side of the enormous bed I was lying on. This made my chest hurt even more, I groaned under the pressure I was putting on it. I had never experienced something like this before. _Did I get hit by a truck again?_ I wondered what could have happened to cause my chest pain. _No. If I had been hit by truck, this is all that fucking weasel's fault. _

Right. Only Izaya could get me into stupid shit like that. That really pissed me off. Although Izaya is the practically the biggest jackass on the face of the Earth, I noticed that I had started taking a liking to the little rodent, I may have even found him a little attractive. I would like to tell him my feelings, but noooooooo he'd probably just burst into laughter and run all over Ikebukuro screaming about how I was a homo. Not to mention that part of him that thinks: "I'm the smartest person in the world and all other humans are here just for me to manipulate! Ahahahaha!"... That motherfucker.

Anyway, I was too exhausted to stand up immediately, so I lowered one foot to feel across the floor and pull myself onto my feet. However, as much as I stretched my leg, I couldn't find the floor. It was almost as if I had shrunk or something. I scooted closer to the side and stretched a bit further, only to fall off the bed, slamming my forehead on the bedside table in the process.

As I was curled up in the mess of sheets clutching my head, I heard a knock at the door. I cursed the unknown person as I untangled myself from the sheets and shuffled to the door, the bottoms of my pants dragging on the carpet.

"WHAT THE FUCK!? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING TIME IT IS!?" I yell, throwing the door open. I see that it's none other than Tom Tanaka, who is looks completely dumbfounded.

"Uh... It's 9:56." He says calmly, gesturing to his watch. Well that made me feel stupid. "Well, anyways, would you happen to know where Shizuo Heiwajima would happen to be, miss? He's been missing for several weeks now, and I heard that he was checked in here and was staying in this room." _Did he just call me 'miss'? And what was with the part about me missing for several weeks? _

"What are you hell are on, Tom?! Don't you recognize me?!"

"A-are you saying that you're Shizuo?" He asks, taking a step back.

"Well, duh! Why are acting you've never seen me befo-" I cut myself off, I feel my stomach lurch. I clutch my sides and scramble for the bathroom which is luckily right next to the entrance to my room. I hang my head over toilet and start puking my guts out. After what feels like an eternity for my innards, it finally comes to a stop. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I grumble to myself. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand as I glared over at Tom.

He slowly strode over to me. "So... You're Shizuo?" He asked as he looked over me as if I had grown cat ears and a tail. He was still on this? I felt too sick to punch him, so I simply nodded. "Well, unless you haven't already noticed, you're a woman."

What? How the hell was that possible? I looked down and saw an enormous pair a boobs that were trying their best to stay in my shirt. How the fuck had I missed that? It did explain why my back and chest were killing me. I looked up into the bathroom mirror. I had shrunken significantly and my hair was now shoulder length, other than my new grown 'lady parts' I still kind of looked the same as I always did.

I didn't know how to react to all of this until I heard a clunk. Tom clapped a hand over his mouth, obviously trying not to laugh. I looked down to find that my pants had collapsed to the floor. I scowled, magnificent.

"I'll take you to Shinra's. We'll also get you some new clothes while we're at it." He sighs with a smirk.

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We stopped at a women's clothing outlet, and since there was no guarantee that my pants would stay on, Tom went in alone. So naturally, I had no say in his clothing choice for me, which consisted of a black miniskirt and a pair of dark panty hose. When I saw the panty hose, I was tempted to jump out and beat the shit out of him with the car, but I held myself back, and gave him the 'I'll kill you later' look. I also received a pair of slip-ons designed like my usual shoes with a slight heel. I spent the rest of the trip changing into my new clothes and muttered about Tom's freaky fetishes in the back seat.

On the way, Tom explained how I had mysteriously vanished for about three and half weeks. I never remembered anything that happened during that time period, since it seemed that I had only seen Tom the day before. He also says that he, Shinra, Celty, and several others had been trying to find information on where I might have been.

"If you were searching for me, why didn't you ask the police for help?" I ask as I pull on one of the shoes.

"Well, doing that would have stirred up a lot commotion, and I mean, it's you, we had no doubt that you would have any trouble handling a gang or something if you had been kidnapped." Tom says, with a shrug. Wow, I had some really great friends now, didn't I?

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I knew that Shinra would make some smart ass comment about me when he found out that I had turned into a girl. I guess I was partially right, because when he answered the door and saw us he smiled and Tom and said, "Hey! Long time no see! Did you get any information about Shizuo's disappearance?-" then he looked over at me. "Who's the harlot?" He asks.

I shoved past Tom and grabbed Shinra by the collar. The fact that I was the only person besides Celty who could heft him off the ground so easily was what gave me away. "Say that again, I couldn't hear you." I growl through clenched teeth as I smile sarcastically at him.

We explained to Shinra about how I had suddenly changed sexes for some reason, Tom also noted my sudden vomiting from earlier. I don't know why. Shinra strokes his imaginary beard even though he looks like a total idiot before finally saying that he'd need a urine sample from me. As he says this, I see a glint in his eye. Oh, shit.

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**Kyaaaaa! Sorry, I kind of characterized Shinra to be like my own dad, since my mom, sister and I call him 'Nerdball Supreme' I'm not sure if it fits Shinra too, but what the hell.**

**Anyway, I've kind of liked Izaya topping, because even though Shizuo has the seme appearance, Izaya has the more seme personality. WHO'S WITH ME?! *gets hit by random flying vending machine* Ooohh! Twix bar! Nomnom *coughs up blood***


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow. Lots of people read this really fast. Well, lots for me at least. Wednesday was a half day at my school and I had nothing to do , so I finished this pretty fast. Anyway I'm so happy my peeps like it!~~ sry I act like I'm high all the time though (-_-;) must be my mom's hormones. SPEAKING OF MOMS- *gets hit by another random flying vending machine* **

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Izaya's POV

I love gazing over the city in the afternoon. I can just stand on the top of the building that my office is in and marvel at the amazing silhouette that the skyscrapers cast, their backs to sun. Not only is it beautiful, but its also the time when my lovely humans are busiest. Running to get groceries for dinner, taking their girlfriends on dates, and leaning out their windows, screaming at each other during a traffic jam. Just amazing.

_Aaaahhh, smell that smoggy air~_. However, recently the city has been a bit too quiet for my taste. For weeks, I could go anywhere in town and miraculously not get hit with large objects of any sort! It was fascinating. Shizu-chan was absolutely nowhere to be seen. Maybe he had gotten hit by a truck and had actually ended up in the morgue.

Normally, I would have laughed at the thought, but I was slightly worried for some reason. I had in fact started finding him kind of sexy, thinking of him that way oftentimes gave me the urge to sneak up behind him, reach around his waist, and grab his- never mind; I'd end up with my head in brick wall if I did that. I wasn't stupid enough to underestimate him.

After several minutes of starin down at the city and thinking of certain... THINGS, I get bored and descended the stairs from the rooftop to return to my office. I shoved the door open with all my weight and when I reached my desk, I noticed that I had a recorded message on my phone. I let out a sigh and played it.

"OW! HEY! CALM DOWN!" I jumped when I heard Shinra's voice on the other end who was trying to yell over some huge ruckus in the background. "HURRY, CELTY! HOLD HER BACK!" The indescribable sound of Celty's shadow hurriedly moving about filled my ears.

"Shinra! Give me the fucking address so I can go beat him personally!" The voice of an infuriated woman screamed.

"Uh, Izaya, hey! You'll never guess who we found! But just to let you know, you may be in serious danger." _Say what?_

"Let go of me, Celty! I'm gonna go pound that maggot!" The woman yelled.

"Well anyways, I had better skip to the point. We found a woman who happens to be carrying-" Shinra starts.

"Shinra, if you dare say those words-" The woman interrupted.

"Gah! Hey Celty! I told you to hold her d-" Suddenly the line goes dead.

_What. The. Fuck. Was. That? _

I look at the time that the message was recorded. 5:30. It was now 5:45, so I wondered if I could get to Shinra's in time to see what the hell was happening there. As I started for the door, there was a loud banging sound on the other side.

When I answered, I found some hooker with bleached hair and a bartender suit. I might have blushed since I had kind of grown a fetish for bartender outfits after Shizu-chan started wearing one.

"Who're you? I don't remember calling in a hooker." I asked. That hit a nerve. She suddenly brought her knee up, slamming it hard into my stomach. I fall backwards onto my rear as she leaves her knee in place.

"What the hell makes you think I'm a hooker!?" She yelled. Lewdly, I tilted my head to side, peering up her tiny skirt.

"With clothes like that, you do." I smirk. Her face flushed bright scarlet. I recognize her voice. She's definitely the woman who was at Shinra's, screaming in the background. I like her attitude. It kind of reminds me of Shizu-chan; in fact, everything about her reminds me of Shizu-chan.

"Do you really think I wanted to wear this?! Why the fuck do men take advantages of a woman's body the first chance they get?!" She slams her foot to the floor. "Besides, I'm like this because of YOU." Her face turns an even brighter hue as she angrily clenched her fists.

_Because of me? How is that possible? _I stare at her, completely confused.

When she sees my expression her glare softens. "I knew you wouldn't recognize me. Just like everyone else." She looks down, her voice filled with anger and disappointment. "I'm not sure if you remember, but I turned into a girl because of you."

"Wait. A girl? You mean you were guy?" She looks up to glare at me with a sadistic grin on her face. I know that look.

"Allow me to give you a little hint~." She stomps up to me, grabs me by the collar, and hefts me off the floor in one hand like I'm a stuffed toy. Before I can react, she flings me across the room making my back slam into the wall on the other side of the room. I know that strength, I know this feeling of my blood pulsing violently inside my skull. I smile at her. Now I had a new thing to torment him/her about.

"Nice to see you too, Shizu-chan," I say with a grin. She scowls at the nickname, but I cut her off before she can complain. "No, that doesn't suit you! How about ShizuKO or possibly ShizuMI?"** I can tell that she wants to protest about my new names for her, as she keeps opening her mouth, then closing it, not knowing what to say in response.

"Now, would you mind telling me how your little Sailor Moon transformation is all my fault?" I laughed, but I didn't get the response that I expected or wanted. She looked down, her bangs were covering her eyes, but I could tell that she was holding back tears. Even though I hated him/her either way, I couldn't help but feel a tiny pang of guilt. If Shizu-chan is about to cry then it had to be REALLY serious.

She starts to whisper something that's barely audible, at least I managed to make out the most important part of it. "Shinra assumes that I turned into a woman because... We had sex." Shit. That's right, we had had sex just before Shizu-chan went missing; in fact, I thought that he had disappeared out of shame because I had topped. I didn't mean for it to happen, we both had been incredibly drunk after all. Okay, maybe I kind of DID want to have sex with him, but I'd never admit that to him/her. I wanted to comfort her in the best way I could, even though I'm not that good at comforting people in the first place.

Before I say anything to her, she snatched my hand and gently put it to her stomach. "And... You got me..."

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**I hope you guys know what's coming! X3 I didn't know Izaya's chapter would end up so long! But it was fun~~ Did I capture the horniness? I have so much fun writing with pervy guys 3 *gets knived in the head* **

***bleeding during explanation* **

**** Ko and Mi are found commonly in Japanese girl names Ko (子****) means child, and Mi (美****) meaning beautiful. So you can see why Shizuo hated the names so much.**


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry, but this chapter will be short since I have a lot of reading to catch up on for school, and I have a mandarin project that I have to do as well. Yes, I am learning Mandarin Chinese. 我爱你们 ****3~~ whoa that was a really Chinese Izaya moment there. O_o. Anyway, please understand don't hate me! But I'm glad that you guys like it!**

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Shizu...(ko's)? POV

My lips had barely formed the last few words that ended up as less than a whisper. At least Izaya knew what I meant, and for once in his fucking life, that stupid grin had been wiped off his face. His expression was now somewhere between horrified and the realization that he had really fucked up.

"Wai- wha-?" He was looking back and forth at my face, then the hand that I had placed on my stomach.

"Don't make me say it again." I grumbled.

"No, I'm serious, what?" Izaya asked. And he says I'm fucking stupid.

"YOU MORON, YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!" I scream, pulling up fist.

"DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!" He screamed back as he held up his hands, bracing for impact.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! THIS ISN'T MY HOUSE, AND YOU'RE NOT MY HU-" I almost said something that would've given me a heart attack. I see Izaya smirk as he hides behind his hands; he knew that I would react like this. I mentally slap myself as I feel the heat rise in my cheeks.

"Well, if it's mine, then you stay here if you'd like." He smiles, opening a gap between his hands and poking his head through to stare into my eyes.

"HELL NO! SO YOU CAN WHAT, FUCK ME SOME MORE?! WELL GUESS WHAT, ASSHOLE, MY SHOE'S ABOUT TO FUCK YOU!" This stupid argument didn't even last five minutes, since we got an angry call from about every person in the entire building. And even though all of Ikebukuro could hear us screaming our heads off I still ended up staying in the guest room at Izaya's place. I put myself to sleep constantly asking myself how the hell I'd gotten into this situation in the first place.

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All I could see was a bright light scorching my eyes as I lay half naked on a metal bed. I can hear voices, but my ears slur their words, making it almost impossible for me to understand them.

"-wajima, can you hear m-" I can barely hear a woman say. Slowly I nod. My stomach feels like its crushing me. I squint my eyes and lift my head to see that my stomach had much larger. It wasn't anywhere near big enough for the kids to be ready to come out, though it was still a pretty heavy weight on my internal organs.

I'm surrounded by doctors, their faces are half covered by their masks, I can recognize the woman speaking to me. _What was her name? That's right, Namie... Yagiri, was it? _She's pulling on her gloves and mask as she calmly talks to me. "It's okay, the procedure will be finished very quickly." _Procedure? For what?_ Hell, whatever it is, I just want them to get it over with. I let out a sigh, trying to calm my nerves, and lay my head back on the metal bed.

I feel a sharp pain shoot up from my stomach. I try to sit up again and force words that are difficult just for my mouth to form. "What the hell-" I shout. I feel sick at the sight before me. They're cutting open my stomach. "What are you doing?!" I scream, my voice shaking in terror. I try to reach out and shove their hands away, but my entire body absolutely refuses to move.

"Just let us handle this, it's going to be okay." She says softly. Namie steps back for a second to put her scalpel on a small table that's covered with her other tools. She returns to my side and begins to open the gash that she put down my abdomen, and slowly slides her hand inside.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Get the hell away from me!"shriek, I shiver at the disgusting feeling of her hand moving around inside me. She doesn't even acknowledge my protesting screams as she grabs onto something and begins to pull it out. My heart just about stops beating when I see that's it's half-formed baby that's still inside it's sack. It's crying out, squirming in the palm of Namie's hand.

Namie smiles. "It's a boy! And there's another one in there that I need to pull out too!" She clamps her hand down hard. I can hear the sickening sound of crushing tiny bones as it cries even louder. Crimson waterfalls spill down her stained latex gloves.

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**Sorry if that last part scarred some of your minds. But I like coming up with human torture methods! Call me crazy, I already know I am. Anyway I'm super surprised that I have so many followers! I love you guys! YAAAAAAAYYY~~~~ I'm on extra crack today! Wooooooo!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hehe... So sorry if I scared you shitless on the last chapter. My parents never let us go to see horror films, but I can think them up myself. (-_-;) anyway I'm sooooo happy that there are so many followers! Yay! I got my project done as quick as possible so I could post this for you guys!**

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Izaya's POV

I glanced over at the clock that was sitting next to the guest bed that Shizuko was so cutely sleeping in. 9:20. I didn't know Shizu-chan's sleeping patterns, so I was worried that I might end up getting punched if I woke her up. Also considering the position she was sleeping in, I wasn't sure if it would safe to even touch her. Her fists were tightly clenched and her breathing was heavy not to mention that she was sweating a bit.

After staring at her for a minute, I just couldn't help myself anymore and decided to just risk my life. I slowly leaned over her sleeping body, reached out a hand... And started poking her cheek.

"Heeeeeey! Shizu-chan wake uuuuuuuup." I said loudly as continuously poked her cheek. Suddenly her eyes flew open and she sat up. It seemed like she hadn't even noticed what I'd been doing all this time. Her eyes were wide as her shivering fingers fumbled with the sheets that covered her body. Finally getting a firm grip on them, she pushed them back, and patted her stomach. She smiled and let out a long sigh of relief.

"They're okay... They're okay..." She panted over and over, clutching her chest as she pulled up her knees and rested her head on them.

It seemed that her mood was good enough, so patted her on the back, "Shizu-chan, you need to get up now~~" I said merrily.

Her attitude instantly changed when she noticed my presence. She slowly held up her head and glared over at me. "What the hell are YOU doing in here." She snarled. If Shizu-chan were a guy, I'd get aroused just by him acting like that, but as a pregnant woman, s/he's just fucking scary.

"Hey, calm down," I hold up my hands, trying to tell her I meant no harm (Unlike I usually do.) and back away a little. "There's someone here to talk to you. You need to get dressed okay?" I say as gently.

She scowls. "Fine. Then get the fuck out. I'll be there in a second."

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As soon as Shizu-chan sees the person I'm speaking with when she enters the room, she cringes and and stops in her tracks. "What the hell are you doing here, Kasuka?!" She cries, jabbing a finger in her little brother's direction.

He looks up at his older brother/sister, his expression unchanging, of course. "Oh, good morning, ah, sister?" Shizu-chan shot him a furious glare. "Come on, Shizuo, I'm your brother, I have to know these things. After all, they will be my future niece or nephew." He smiled up at his sibling; though I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be motivational or teasing.

"It's Izaya's fault that I got fucking pregnant in the first place," I can see her shudder when she says the word 'pregnant' she's just too damn cute. She shakes her head gently, trying to get her mind off the subject and continues, "hell, this whole ordeal is his fault 'cause he can't keep his pants on when he's drunk!"

"I beg to differ! You let me top because mine was 7 millimeters longer than yours!" I butt in.

"What?! Who in their fucking right mind measures their junk?" Shizu-chan asks, giving me a slightly disgusted look.

"As it so happens, I do, since I am an informant, and as you know, informants need to know as much as possible." I smile, putting my hands in my pockets and flipping the top half of my jacket off my shoulders. I love doing that, it annoys Shizu-chan so much~!

"So if you knew your own cock size, then why the hell didn't you get yourself a fucking condom first off?!" She snarls, raising an eyebrow. The problem with Shizu-chan being a woman is the part of her that's usually right.

"Ahem," Kasuka coughed quietly. Despite his emotionless body language, I could tell that on the inside he was at least slightly amused by our conversation about dick sizes.

Shizu-chan blushes slightly, and sits down calmly on the couch opposite to Kasuka. When I plop down next to her, she instantly scoots to the other end in hopes of getting as far away from me as possible. "Fucker..." I think I hear her grumble under her breath.

"Now, Onii-oneesan, you do know that you'll have to raise those kids with him, right?"

I see her eyes get huge. "If you care at all about those kids' well beings then you would never even think of letting them anywhere near him." She scoffs as she glares in my direction.

"Why, Shizu-chan, don't you trust me?" I say sweetly with a grin. She gives me the 'hell no' look then turns away to stare at the floor, triying to avoid eye contact with me._ Something's wrong_.

For the next few hours or so, we continued our conversation with Kasuka about the future. Much to my surprise, he was actually much more excited than what his expressions said. In fact, he actually asked Shizu-chan if he could name them, the request got him an odd look from his sis/bro, since his eyes got big and sparkly when he asked. Maybe one or two more off topic conversations got in there too, like how I should lie to the kids about how intercourse worked; many of my suggestions made Shizu-chan blush intensely.

Kasuka glanced down at his watch. "Hey, maybe we should finish this conversation over lunch. Anything in particular that you want, oneesan?"

I saw Shizu-chan's eye twitch when her brother called her 'oneesan', but she shrugged it off and thought for a second. "... Do you happen to know anyplace with good goat masala and strawberry Greek yogurt?"

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**Lol. Making up wacky cravings is so fun~~! But goat masala is delicious, in fact I ate some just the other day! Wow, I get off topic easily! Who else hated the sex conversation with their parents?!**

**I know Kasuka was a little out of character, but hell, if I'm on crack, the characters I'm writing about are too. Never do drugs, kids, or you'll end up like me~~! I'm kidding my brain is like this naturally. Anyway, I'm hoping to get some hot man sex into next chapter, so hang in there! I know that the sexual tension is super crazy right now~~ well, it will get crazy. (-_-;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**So sorry I took this long. I had chemistry and geometry homework every damn night for these last few days. Not to mention that I have my fucking final exams to worry about. Plus I had to do a bunch of yaoi-sex study for this chapter. Yes, I know, FINALLY. I've also been really tired and lazy is that a period symptom? Anyway, enjooooooyyy~~! **

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Shizuo/ko's POV (what the fuck ever)

The day was filled with excitement since we had to go to a REAL hospital with a doctor that we could actually trust. Afterwards, Izaya dragged me to Shinra and Celty's apartment to let them know that he was going to help me raise his... You know what's.

"What? Why did you guys go to some other doctor?" Shinra complained, looking up at me from the couch where he had collapsed. He looked exhausted, probably since he and Celty had been cleaning up their wrecked apartment. (I apologized for it, of course.) "You guys could just come to me for regular check ups, you know."

"Yeah, no way in fuck I'm gonna EVER trust you for taking care of my- children." I paused before saying that last word. I can see Celty nodding in agreement with me.

"Whaaat? But you're trusting Izaya!" Shinra said, looking quite offended by that fact.

"If they come out okay, I'm taking them and running as far from Ikebukuro as humanly possible. If they end up like HIM, I'm ditching them with him and getting the fuck outta here." Izaya gives me an enraged look, but obviously doesn't know how to respond to that. Celty ended up doubling over in the corner, which looked kind of weird, since she had no head to laugh with.

ANYWAY. After that odd little experience we helped finish cleaning up Kishitani and Celty's apartment. Several times, I had caught Izaya giving me weird looks I was concerned that he was maybe getting horny again and was staring at my rear. (Turning into a woman involves everything getting much bigger.) It made me a little sad. He never looked at me with any kind of desire when I was guy, and when he was sober, mind you.

At seven, Izaya decided that it was time to drag me back to his apartment of course, I yelled out an enormous speech about rape and I begged Celty and Shinra to let me stay at their place. "Now, now, Shizuko, this experience is important for your maternal instincts and your relationship." Shinra smiled and said in a mocking voice. I punched him in the face. I still ended up getting dragged into Izaya's car by Celty's shadow.

We drove in silence. Izaya didn't even look at me he seemed to be in deep thought.

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Izaya's POV

_What was wrong? Was it something I did?_ Shizu-chan hadn't been her normal, destructive self since this morning. It worried me. Maybe it was a mood swing? My body had gone into auto pilot as I escorted my psychotic little beauty up to my floor and into my apartment.

"Um... Izaya..." I swung around to look at her. That was the first time she'd actually said my name out loud without any bloodlust in her voice since, actually, forever. "During that time that I was... 'missing', I think I might have been at Yagiri pharmaceuticals." How did she come up with that?

"What? What makes you think that all of the sudden? How did she get you in the first place?" I ask, flustered. If that was true, then how the hell did those creeps that work for Namie get their hands of Shizu-chan?

"Don't play dumb. She works with you, correct? I bet you gave her a key, am I right? I'll bet you were having some kind of relationship or something before she came here and saw me sleeping with you. Then she probably took me to that freaky lab of hers." It was so sudden I didn't even know how to even respond at first. It was utterly ridiculous, since that crazy bitch wanted to do it with her own crazy ass brother.

"Why the hell would I even be ATTRACTED to her?" I stammer horrified by the mere thought of having any kind of affair with that woman.

"Well, it makes sense since we both practically have the same body type! Isn't that why you're letting me stay here?! All I am is some sexy little action figure to you, just like all other humans!" _What? No. How could she even think that? _"I'm just here because I'm a girl!"

I clench my teeth then snatch her around her tiny waist and pull her in, pressing my parted lips to hers.

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Shizuo's POV

_What. The. Fuck? _

The man I had been in love with since high school had suddenly decided to start making out with me (yes, there was tongue involved.) like this was some kind of shojo manga. I tried to pull away to save my pride, but no matter how strong my arms were, his warmth made my power melt like ice cubes to a bonfire. Shit, I really do sound like I'm in a shojo manga or something.

"There, convincing enough for you?" He asks as he pulls away and glares down at me. He had pushed me against the wall so that I was almost kneeling on the floor.

"You moron! I'm technically a man on the inside, remember?!" I splutter. Why is it that my clothes suddenly feel tight?

Izaya smirks as he looks down at me. "Apparently, it's not just on the inside anymore." Fuck. I look down from his face to see that I had reverted back to my original form. Male parts and all. Everything was just barely saying inside the fucking miniskirt. Before I can even try to cover myself up better, Izaya grabbed my chin and pulled it upward so that I was looking into his eyes again.

"I don't give a shit about gender. I just want you all to myself." He continues sternly but softly. I'm not sure if it was just me being delusional, but I could swear that I heard applause and cheering in the neighboring apartments. I feel the heat rise into my cheeks.

"Dammit..." I grumble under my breath as I look down and cover part my face with my hand. With my defenses down, Izaya took the chance to start unbuttoning my vest and shirt. I gasp. "What the fuck are you doing?" _Shit, I'm still acting like a woman. _

"Come," he says calmly, restraint in his voice. "I can't hold back any more." He wanted to fuck. Honestly, I had been hoping that at one point at least he would have sex with me again; but I didn't expect that he would want to do it even more when I was a man.

He pulled me to my feet and dragged me to his room, where he threw me onto the bed the moment we entered. Climbed over my shivering body and finished removing my top.

"Please forgive me." He says softly as he leans down and rests his forehead on mine.

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**Your favorite psychopath (in other words, the author): so sorry, but I happen to be a sad little virgin, so I'll have to tell this part from the third person POV. I have no clue what sex feels like, sorry!**

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Izaya moved his warm hands across the other man's chest, gently caressing every inch of his body as he pushed the annoying shirt out of the way. Shizuo's scarlet cheeks didn't at all stop his arousing stick.

After whispering a soft apology, he leaned down and again connected the electrifying circuits disguised as lips. Shizuo's trembling hands reached upward and fumbled with the light fabric of Izaya's shirt. Izaya quickly pulled away for an agonizing second to yank off his own coat and shirt and throw then to the side.

Once more he leaned down and planted soft kisses down Shizuo's neck and chest. Shizuo panted heavily with delight, his panicked lungs seeming to deny oxygen entry. His wish that had always been seen as impossible had finally come to reality. The intense love from someone that had seemed to hate him for years.

Izaya pulled off Shizuo's remaining clothing and looked down at his vulnerable lower half. The iron armor that protected Shizuo's gasping heart began to melt and weaken from the heat of Izaya's body as Izaya gently clasped Shizuo's hard dick. It's hot, steamy liquid spilling out of it.

**Author: holy shit! I feel like usagi from junjou romantica! Everyone: shut the fuck up and get back to the story! (\\□\\)**

Izaya slowly pulled away to lace his dirtied fingers with Shizuo's. "Now, I need you to relax." Shizuo could only nod, his face flushed bright red from the pain and delight. He clenched his eyes shut and winced as he felt Izaya's two fingers enter him and scissor to make room for what was coming.

Shizuo held his breath as he heard the familiar sound of jeans being unzipped. He tried to brace for what would come next, but still ended up letting out a loud moan from the burning sensation of Izaya's cock going inside of him.

"Relax." Izaya repeated through clenched teeth the pain being just as intense for him. Shizuo began to break out in sweat, he continued to pant and moan from the stress his entire body was under. He looked even cuter to Izaya with his eyes shut tight and his hair sprawled across the sheets as he attempted to hide his face from embarrassment.

Izaya and Shizuo's hearts began to beat faster and faster in unison as Izaya began to fill Shizuo once again with his love. Shizuo cried out weakly from his lack of breath as he felt the warm liquid fill him up inside. Izaya continued until Shizuo was close to overflowing.

* * *

Shizuo's POV

I was beyond embarrassed. My abdomen hurt like hell. Sure, it was painful, but I have to admit that I had really loved it. My scorched body was now covered by the light sheets of Izaya's bed; my face was buried in the pillow while my back was to Izaya who lay by me with his arm draped over my shoulder while his cool hand gently stroked my bare chest.

"Hey." I hear him whisper. I nervously turn over to face him, I can feel his sperm sloshing around inside of me. Before I can grumble 'what' he presses his lips to mine and his tongue invades my mouth. When he finally pulls him away, I'm too flustered to even yell at him, in fact, I probably didn't get angry at him because I wanted more of it.

"I love you. I've loved you for too long. I just didn't know how to express it." He murmurs softly in my ear before burying his face in my neck and kissing it.

"Hmph. You if you didn't know how to express it, then you probably had a bunch of creepy fantasies about me, huh?" I say selfishly.

He chuckles. "You know me well." SERIOUSLY?!

"Well, um," I begin to stammer. I'm glad I turned away to hide my blushing face. "Well... Maybe I've kinda loved you too..." I can't believe that I actually said it out loud to him.

There's a long silence. "Did you have fantasies too-"

"HELL NO." Maybe. Just maybe. I can actually do this with him.

* * *

**WOOOOOOOO! That was fun! I'm definitely doing another one! But the problem is, I was having a hard time writing the words sperm, dick, and penis because I was giggling too much. Lol poetry about sex is an amazing thing, no? *gets hit by random flying vending machine and gets knived in the head simultaneously***

**Shizuo & Izaya: "why the hell did you write such embarrassing stuff about us?" (\\□\\) **

**Me: *coughs up blood***

**Shizuo & Izaya: ... *start making out in the background***

**Me: YES! *does a bloody victory dance* **

**Anyway, I'm not sure if I'll be able to get another chapter in for a while, since I'm going to Kauai for winter break (don't get mad at me, I have family there) And I'll be staying at one of family's houses that's in the ghetto area. Apparently, we have to live in the fucking ghetto area because we're freaking Japanese. But I promise that I'll write the last chapter while I'm on the plane and get a new story started too. I'm thinking Masaomi x Mikado. ;) huggles! Wish me luck on my finals this week! And merry Christmas, Hanukkah, and happy new year! 33333**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, I lied, I have enough time to write the last chapter before I go, but what the fuck? I was sick for two days so I had to stay home from school, why the hell do I have to get sick when I need to be at school the most?! I don't like school, but I at least want to review for my finals wtf?!**

**Sorry about that, but I needed to bitch about it someone. Damn, I'm starting to sound like Shizu-chan, huh? Now I sound like Izaya xD. But, yeah, I don't want to barf my guts out at school though, so this is for the best. Why the hell am I still talking to myself about this?!**

**I know the sex part was short, but this is my first fanfic, do not forget, and I sincerely apologize for that. I'm immature, so I have a hard time writing that kind of shit without bleeding to death. Still, please enjoy le final chapter~~!**

* * *

Izaya's POV

Shizu-chan insisted that we go to the doctor that we had so cruelly replaced Shinra with to check if he was still pregnant or not. (Hahaha! I get a warm fuzzy feeling whenever I think of my dearest having babies as a man~! In a good way, that is.)

The new doctor was a sweet young woman named Kamiyama**, (I was never told her first name.) She was about our age and, for some unknown reason, looked familiar, even though I was sure that I had never seen her before in this life. She emitted this kind of creepy aura that even made Shizu-chan sweat. Not to mention that this odd woman had a pair of strikingly bright purple eyes behind her glasses.

A few minutes after she had taken a urine sample from Shizu-chan, she returned to us with her conclusion: "It appears that you still happen to be carrying the children despite your gender switch." Kamiyama said with a smile. When she was told that Shizu-chan had turned back into a man, she was completely unfazed, almost as if she had expected the sudden change.

Shizu-chan didn't seem to be angered by this news. In fact, he seemed quite relieved that he was still carrying my children. "If that's the case, will they still come out okay?" He asked nervously, squeezing my hand. I couldn't help but smile inwardly at this gesture.

"Before I talk about that subject, I'd like this Shinra person that came here with you to come in so he can hear this too."

Shinra and Celty had forced us to let them come along, since Shinra thought that it could mean an advance in medical science; while Celty was just excited to know if she was going to have access to a fresh baby sometime soon. I'll never understand the thought process of women of any species, headless or not.

When Shinra came in, (with Celty ecstatically bouncing off the walls behind him.) Kamiyama smiled at him. "Nice to see you again, doctor Kishitani." Shinra gave her a confused look, he clearly had never met her either. "Nice to see you again too, Miss Sturluson." Celty bowed to the doctor respectfully. At least Celty had met her before.

She had the two sit and continued speaking. "Now, being a fellow doctor, I think that you deserve to know along with the others that cases of male pregnancy is very uncommon, but not unheard of." I can see Shizu-chan blush out of the corner of my eye. "In fact, this is the first case that I have worked on in several years. Don't fret, though, although being birthed by a man, they will still come out perfectly fine, like any other woman giving birth." Shizu-chan's blush got even brighter. It was so cute~.

"It only occurs if a man is born with a slight mutation that makes their body able to adapt to almost any mental or physical change, in this case, being sex with someone of the same gender." During this entire time, Shinra was wildly taking notes and Celty was flailing about with excitement, she was too happy to write 'congratulations' on her phone.

* * *

Shizu-chan decided on staying at my house for the next few months. He had suggested on getting a job, but I knew that with his anger issues and the possible mood swings, he wouldn't last a week in the work force; he just continued working with Tom Tanaka. It wasn't all that bad though, Shizu-chan usually got home in the evening earlier than me if I had to go out, and he actually isn't too bad a cook. It was almost as if I was raising a warm, loving family~ it made me kind if happy. The only thing that I needed to happen was to come home and find Shizu-chan in nothing but an apron~~!

"Wha-what the hell did you do?!" Instead, I came home one day to find that Shizu-chan's hair was dyed back to it's original dark brown color. He turned and gave me an apathetic look. (Which really made him look like his little brother, Kasuka.)

"Oh. Hey, Izaya, yeah I got my hair dyed back to brown."

"What? But why?" I ask, trying to avoid stammering.

"Well, everyone in Ikebukuro knows what I look like with bleached hair, so I decided to change it back so no one would recognize me. After all, if it was leaked that I was, um, you know..." He starts to blush. It's just too cute that he still can't say the word 'pregnant'~~. He's right. The entire city would be in a panic if people found about this, and Shizu-chan's reputation would be ruined in a sense.

* * *

It wasn't long before the mood swings started kicking in, and they were either a gift from God, or from the devil. The bad mood swings were always especially bad since he couldn't drink or smoke during his pregnancy; not to mention that I had ended up getting thrown out the window a couple of times. (Okay, I actually deserved it one of those times since I had suggested that Shizu-chan should dress like a woman again, so it would be easier for him to walk around town without getting odd looks. Actually, I just liked the way he looked in the skirt and panty hose.) During his good ones, he would just be prancing around happily for no apparent reason, those times, I enjoyed myself since he would get really clingy when he was like that.

When the bump started becoming visible, Shizu-chan wore baggy tops when he went out, but when he was home, he would wear the usual skin tight clothes, so it would be a lot of fun to sneak up behind him and grab his stomach. Sometimes I'd end up getting punched across the room, other times he'd just blush and hold onto my hand. Even if a got a bloody nose, I was still a happy man~~.

* * *

**Author: sorry for butting in again, but I'm gonna tell this part from the third person as well, since Izaya's gonna be spazzing out and Shizuo's going to be swearing more than usual. Is that even possible?**

* * *

It had been nine months since that horrible disaster and advance in modern science had occurred in Shinra's apartment. Shizuo had grown his hair out a bit and actually started to dress in a slightly more feminine way to hide the awkwardness of a pregnant man. Either that, it was the lady hormones in his brain going crazy.

Everything was going well until the day when Dr. Kamiyama got a call from the hospital reception desk. Shizuo was currently being driven to the hospital in labor. Right afterward, Izaya received the news from the doctor.

"Hey, Izaya! How are you? Oh yeah, I had to let you know that Shizu-chan's in labor and is headed over right now!" The doctor had caught onto the nickname after several months of taking care of the two of them.

On the other side, Kamiyama heard some jumbled, panicked gibberish before she finally made out, "Uh- I'll be right there!"

She made her usual freaky grin and said, "Oh, could you pick me up some takoyaki? It's almost lunch, I'll pay you back!"

Upon arriving with Shinra and an overly excited Celty, Shizuo saw his doctor in the lobby jogging toward him. "Now, Shizuo, this is going to be very painful, you need to take slow, deep breaths." She told him calmly.

"FUCK THAT SHIT! JUST GET THIS THING THE FUCK OUTTA ME!" He gasped.

She smiled. "You're the same as ever, Shizu-chan~." The doctor then had him hurried to another room.

Originally, Shinra's intention of returning to the lobby was to see if Izaya had arrived yet; luckily, he came just at the right moment to rescue the counter receptionist from The very man, who was threatening the poor woman with one of the knives that he always had handy. Shinra grabbed Izaya's hood and yanked him off of the desk and lugged him down the hall to where Shizuo had been taken.

Being another doctor, Shinra was given free access to the room that Shizuo was going into labor in. Izaya waited nervously outside in the hallway, his mind a frantic, terrified mess. He was on the verge of a heart attack, while on the other hand, Celty was skipping about, doing occasional overjoyed ballet.

Moments after Shinra disappeared into Shizuo's room, an exasperated voice exploded from within. "WHAT?! HE'S HERE?! THEN WHY THE HELL ISN'T HIS STUPID ASS IN HERE?!" Shizuo's yell almost put Izaya's nearing heart attack into motion, making him jump about three feet into the air. "IZAYA! I KNOW YOUR THERE! GET THE FUCK IN HERE, DAMMIT!"

For the first time in ten minutes, Celty calmed done enough to put her thoughts into text on her phone: "You're into some deep shit, he's as pissed as anyone can get. And you're on your own, so good luck."

"Gee, thanks." Izaya grumbled, opening the door. He could feel Celty's imaginary flowers of joy burst into bloom again behind him as she started dancing around once more. Shizuo was sat up on the bed, clutching the doctor's hand tightly as he winced and cried out in pain. Shinra stood at the back, getting everything prepared.

The doctor looked up as Izaya slipped on the required mask and scrub. (Is that what they're called?) "Damn well about time you got here! He was worried you wouldn't get here in time!" Kamiyama said with a scowl.

Izaya hurried to Shizuo's side. "Sorry I was late, they got really confused when I said, 'he's going into labor!' and they're nosy people, so they insisted on knowing." Shizuo scowled at him, but howled in pain again before he could curse at him.

Shizu-chan's POV *gets hit by random flying vending machine again* Shizuo: "DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"Congratulations!" Kamiyama said happily with a smile. "It's a healthy boy, and you're officially tougher than Chuck Norris, now that you've been through the most painful experience known to man!" I give her a weird look. Despite the amount of blood and swearing that had been coming out if me for the last excruciating half hour, my psychotic doctor was as happy as ever.

I can see Izaya through the crowd of doctors talking with the nurse who's attending to the living being that came out of me. "Can I hold it?" I hear him quietly ask. The nurse smiles and nods. I'm too exhausted to call out to him, but he knows that I want him to come to me. He strides over carefully, not taking his eyes off the tiny thing.

"How... Is it?" I'm still breathing heavily, so it ended up sounding like a desperate gasp.

He laughs. "He's a lot heavier than looks." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Kamiyama shooing the rest of the doctors and nurses out of the room to give us some privacy. "Any name ideas?" He asks me. I suddenly realize that I hadn't even thought about what to call him.

He looks at my oblivious expression and knows that I have no clue what I'm doing. They say that after twenty years of marriage, couples develop a sixth sense that gives them the ability to read one another's minds; but it just took Izaya nine months to catch onto my every thought. "How about Nagao?"

Nagao. The kanji characters for the name mean 'long life'. "I love it." I sigh with a smile. Izaya smiles in return, but it isn't one of his 'LOL, I'm smarter than you' smirks, it was warm and happy; and it was only for me.

* * *

**YAAAAAAAAYYYY! I finished! Don't be sad though, in my Masaomi x Mikado story, I plan on putting some Izuo fluff in there too. (In an earlier life though.) I'm really happy about all the positive feedback that I've been getting on this story you guys are awesome! Thanks so much! I'm definitely going to keep going! **

****The name Kamiyama is written, '神山****', which means 'god mountain' since she already knows Izaya and Shizu-chan, got any idea who she might be? More will be revealed in my next story if you read it. **

**I know it doesn't exactly fit a deranged psycho like me, but I like to come up with philosophies about how life works. How the universe turns and if there is a God, and if they actually care. Expect to see hints of those philosophies in some of my stories. (Even though I'm not religious in any way.)**

**Again, since I posted earlier than expected, merry Christmas, happy Hanukah, and happy new year! Huggles!**

**P.S. OMG check out this awesome emote thats on the Chinese keyboard on the iPhone!: 凸****-_-凸 ****lol! (its not directed at you awesome people, I just thought it was fucking hilarious.)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, I lied again, THIS is the final chapter because I didn't really explain what happened afterwards and I didn't get in all the random crack that I wanted into the story. Sorry... But whatever, I enjoyed writing this story for you awesome people. Thanks for being so supportive! Kisses!**

* * *

~~~Ask that psychotic doctor~~~

Kamiyama: Hello! I'm the doctor that delivered Izaya and Shizu-chan's child, as you know-

Shizuo: DON'T CALL ME THAT! *throws vending machine at Kamiyama*

Kamiyama: *Dodges* Whatever, I forced the author to write this final chapter because she did a bad job explaining EVERYTHING that goes into how this male pregnancy things works.

Shizuo: *shiver*

Me: Wait a minute, Kamiyama, you didn't FORCE me, you beat me with a frying pan then threatened me with a scalpel.

Kamiyama: *ignores* Like I said in the previous chapter, the bodies of men with the 'mutation' can adapt to almost any mental or physical change that their bodies go through. This is actually what gave Shizu-chan his great strength due to his anger issues~.

Shizuo: I don't have anger issues!

Kamiyama: *completely ignores him* Most of these men that are born with this ability because they were meant to bear children despite their gender. I theorized that they can give birth because they lived as a woman in one of their previous lives and needed to bring a child into being, but couldn't. So, they were accidentally reborn as a male and were given the mutation so they could complete their destiny.

Shizuo: HUH? That sounds more like philosophy to me.

Izaya: OOOOOHHH! That also explains why you're so cute, Shizu-chan!

Shizuo: Shut the hell up. Wait, then what about the turning into a woman part, and then randomly turning into a guy again?

Kamiyama: *smirks* God knows why.

Nagao: Mommy, this creepy lady won't stop poking me!

Shizuo: Did you punch her?

Nagao: Yeah. She won't stop.

Shizuo: Damn. O_o

Me: *stops poking Nagao's cheek* Wait, he calls you 'mommy'?

Shizuo: *kicks me really hard in the shin* Yeah. I like it, but I have no clue why.

Kamiyama: THIS PROVES MY THEORY! (Even though I already know it's true since I...) HEY! Stop reading my mind!

Nagao: Mommy, where's my takoyaki? *Kamiyama stops chewing and turns away*

Shizuo: Daddy ate it, honey.

Izaya: What?!

Nagao: Can I throw a mini fridge at him? (Me: You know, like the ones at hotels, not the wimpy cube-ish ones.)

Shizuo: Knock yourself out.

Nagao: COOL SHITBALLS! *runs off to get a mini fridge*

Izaya: Now hold on a second!

Celty: *pops up out of nowhere* Wow. You two certainly make excellent parental role models.

Shizuo: Oh, shut up, you're the one who taught him that in the first place since you're so behind with modern society.

Izaya: STOP BLAMING ME FOR THINGS I WOULD NEVER DO IN THE FIRST PLACE! WHY WOULD I EAT HIS TAKOYAKI?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE OCTOPUS!

Me: Oh calm down, getting blamed for everything comes with the job of being a dad. I mean, my mom, sister, and I blame my dad for everything just for the hell of it!

Shizuo: I love you. :3

Izaya: You're not helping. Gah! *dodges flying mini fridge*

Kamiyama: *still chewing a little* My, my, impressive that he's so strong at such a young age! I would raise my own the same way. Although, there would be a ton of screaming and beating involved. They look more intimidating with scars when they get bigger. Hm!

Shizuo: (=□=;)

Izaya: What kind of samurai-devil-woman are you?!

Kamiyama: WHAT? That's how I raised my younger siblings! They'd be a bunch of sniveling crybabies if I hadn't raised them that way!

*Kamiyama's younger siblings pop up out of nowhere* WE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN LIKE THAT! YOU'RE JUST INSANE!

Kamiyama: Yeah, yeah, shut up and get lost, aren't you supposed to be fighting a war? *kicks siblings out*

Izaya: Wai-wha?

Kamiyama: No need to know, they've got it under control.

Shizuo: WHAT WAR?!**

Me: Hm hm. I must agree that screaming and beating with a little kindness sprinkled in is the perfect way to raise a child. (Okay people, there's a lesson here, never listen to me. Understand?)

Kamiyama: Who said there would be any kindness? Me: LOL! EXACTLY! Shizuo: You people are fucking insane.

Me: *crazy japanese-hawaiian accent* Ya damn skippy.

Izaya: What the hell does that mean?

Kamiyama and me: We are not meant to be understood. (￣_￣)*

Shizuo and Izaya: (=_=)?

* * *

**Lol sorry if that made no sense but I liked writing this. There were some jokes that only I could understand, since they're references to a story I'm currently working on. It's not a fanfic, I made all the characters and situations up myself. Kamiyama and her siblings are actually some of the characters, though her name isn't really Kamiyama. I also wanted to get this stupid crack in just for the hell of it, since I didn't finish the story too well. Anyway, thanks again for all the support and positive reviews you've given! I love you all sooooooooo much! I hope you read my Masaomi x Mikado story if you like that pairing! *chuu chuu***

**** In my story with Kamiyama's real self, her siblings are fighting a never ending war for Kamiyama because she is trapped in a dimension where she cannot reach the one that the war is going on in. In that story, Kamiyama is named Kārān and is way scarier than she already is; her younger siblings are named: (oldest first) Shimojo, Douru, Koto/Kagajiishaokyuu, and Ryosaku. Okay, none of them are blood related, but she did raise them in a way, but then it's okay for me to think up hot sex scenes with two of the boys in the group. Again, please post who you think Kamiyama really is, because I'd like to see what you think just for fun. Because we all know her from a certain story.**


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